|
Post by malk103 on Feb 22, 2013 22:53:49 GMT
So you realise you are teaching the school bully how to get better at hurting people? Do you stop training them or carry on, within reason, to hopefully wait to see if they gain more humility, respect or control?
What if it's just a total lack of respect and an indirect verbal assault?
We try to make all students improve and won't give up, but....
|
|
|
Post by garage on Feb 23, 2013 0:33:27 GMT
I have to deal with a lot of scum bags out of Karate. I get a lot of social pressure to expel or suspend them. They just want rid. If you do that then you have lost contact with them and can do nothing to change their ways.
In karate I have also taught simialer scumbags and thought that it was great how well behaved they where. The it dawned on me I was just a bigger bully and when I wasn't there they behaved the same.
Karate will not fix societies social ills. Karate instuctors seem to ignore all the bullying policies that are in place and can become part of the problem as well.
|
|
|
Post by nathanso on Feb 23, 2013 7:57:43 GMT
In general, I think that is unrealistic to think that one or two hours a week that an instructor would be spending withh a group of stuents is going to cause dramatic changes in someone's personality. That said, I think that it is OK to give the kid one warning and then boot him out if it happens again.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2013 10:23:36 GMT
All you can do is try to discuss with him the error of his ways and encourage him to see reason. Obviously far easier said than done. We all want to see the best in people and give them a fair chance. But, if they fail to see reason then a warning and expulsion may be the only way forward.
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Feb 23, 2013 16:14:20 GMT
they tend not to stick around to long. I dont exude the same kind of physical quality they look for in a instructor. Short and in my early 40's I dont exactly put forward a big personality till the Gi is on then they tend to respect me, but realize I dont teach bullies. I also wont put up with the attitude and tell them straight away that if the Karate I teach is ONCE used to start a fight or bully someone then they are gone. Kicked on guy out for bullying when I was in my 20's and he did not like it much. Kicked a kid out cuz he had a typical hockey Dad and the kid started acting out, told the kid to stay in line and the dad came down and tried to rip a strip off me...big dude. Told him I was sorry....for him and his son but they can not behave properly and they had to leave. He took a step towards me...I took two towards him and when this guy realized I would not back down he smiled and left....never to be seen again.
I wont teach a bully and I wont prepare future bullies.
|
|
|
Post by malk103 on Feb 26, 2013 11:00:51 GMT
One case we had last week was a young lad who thought he could take on the world after a couple of lessons of basics, started getting punchy with his sister and was then brought to watch Karate and try to understand it's self defence qualities before trying again. We are determined to work with the family here to try and help but if he keeps up the bully routine then out he goes.
The other case last week was an adult who showed great spirit and strength but may have been slightly misplaced. After heavily criticising us they have stopped training, with us anyway. There are a few warning bells going off, similar to finding someone in your rifle shooting club putting up pictures of people in front of their targets.... Things like reading books on violence, watching extreme cage fighting, etc.
It's tricky how to proceed with their training if they return, just show them basics until they grade up towards Brown belt and re-assess, show them the door or maybe interview them to express our concerns and see how they react?
The last thing I want to hear is them being charged with beating someone senseless and using Karate techniques.
|
|
|
Post by jimlukelkc on Feb 26, 2013 11:19:47 GMT
Hmm... With kids we constantly reinforce our no bullying policy and they are under no illusion they will be out should they indulge in bullying behavior. We also make them aware that we have contact with local schools and we encourage parents to keep us appraised of any negative use of karate. With adults it is a different matter. We try to teach the physical consequences of using various techniques along with its effectiveness and legal ramifications. Should they show evidence of overbearing or bullying actions in class we would put them with a high-grade as a mentor for a few weeks. They would be told that THEY are setting the the level of contact and can expect to be hit just as hard as they are hitting. They will be taught control and given time out if they fail to exercise it. Should none of this work we would have a frank discussion as to whether they are suited to a mixed class and make it clear we will exercise our right to refuse training.
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Feb 26, 2013 13:07:35 GMT
The way I see it is if you have a bully in your Dojo you need to put them out with the trash. They will lead to you losing members, getting a bad reputation and a host of other ugly things.
If they are young give yourself a time limit and make an effort to change them around. Tell them point blank that this kind of behavior is NOT accepted and that they will be turffed if they are adults...have the same converstaion with the parents if it is a kid.
Dont dance around and try and change them over time, yes a few months of trying is going to be okay...but if it persists past that its time to go.
I used a bit of negative feed back once in an attempt to quell a young spirited student. He hit others during kumite and thought it was funny, he was 14, but a BIG kid. He would trash the smaller kids in kumite with his sheer size and not once did he try and use good form or anything, just his bulk. I lined up infront of him one day and my instructor gave me the go ahead to give him a bit of a licken, not hitting him but embarassing him by blocking and countering in such a way as he looked silly. I even tripped him and had him fall. It was more an exercise in blowing off steem because the kid stayed one more month and hit a girl in the face and I Personally told his father.... a large bully of a man...to take his money elsewere and get out.
Sometimes you can stop the issues if you catch them soon enough and have the parents support, if not...dont frustrate yourself....give them four or five years and let the prison system deal with them.
|
|