Post by Dod Watt on Oct 9, 2010 18:53:37 GMT
I’ve been thinking about this subject for some time now and for it being such a small word it can mean so many things and can create such a big impact on your life.
The word is pain, it could mean, the pain which you endeavour trying to do your job successfully, it could be the pain of an injury, it could be the pain of having to put up with someone that is an annoyance, the list goes on.
But the greatest pain I have ever endured is not an injury to me or any of the above, but the pain of watching someone I love so much lying in agony and waiting for test results to come back.
The pain of watching a loved one in this condition hurts in a way that I can’t really explain and you can’t do anything about it, you have just to sit and wait, look on, keep on checking to see if they’re alright, and wait some more.
This sort of pain makes you feel helpless, insignificant and unimportant; all you think about is them, it’s not about you.
My wife has had to be very brave over the past few years, she’s a cancer patient, and she was diagnosed with two different types of breast cancer one of which was an extremely aggressive form that starts in the lymph nodes.
It had spread to her skin, so surgery wasn’t an option; she had to have Chemotherapy first with the hope that it would shrink the tumours enough so she could have the operation.
The chemo sessions consisted of attending the Oncology department for six bouts of treatment every three weeks, each time she went she endured six hours of getting her head frozen to minus six degrees with the hope that her hair didn’t fall out, well my wife being a fighter kept her hair (I think it was to scared to fall out), and the tumours reduced enough for her to get her surgery.
She had her surgery, it was a double mastectomy with total Lymph Gland removal, and the pathology results came back saying that they had got everything, the next step was to get what you call a Hickman Line in, this is a line for giving medication intravenously without having to cannulate the arms as she had no Lymphatic system, then she had to get another cancer drug that she had to attend the hospital eighteen times every three weeks for, while doing this she contracted Septicaemia, the Hickman Line had became infected, which was very serious, it could have been fatal, and again she fought it, and got better.
She then had to have Radiotherapy, which really drained her; again she just got on with it.
Now she has a big problem with her back, she can’t walk at the moment, so yet again more tests and they found an abnormality on the base of her spine, panic set in as they were away to test for cancer again, watching her go through this was just to much ( that helpless feeling ), anyway after many weeks of the nervous feeling you get in your stomach the tests came back to show that she has prolapsed discs on the base of her spine putting severe pressure on her spinal cord, she also has an area that they can’t confirm yet what it is on her spine but they’ve ruled out cancer.
Not once has she complained, not once has she thought about herself and not once has she been demanding, she is a true warrior with the heart of a Lion.
My pain is she’s had to suffer and fight all this with no help from me, and before you say you run and do this and you go and get that, that is not pain, that is being thoughtful and considerate of her disability, as I said earlier my pain is helplessness, not being able to make it better, the worst pain ever.
The word is pain, it could mean, the pain which you endeavour trying to do your job successfully, it could be the pain of an injury, it could be the pain of having to put up with someone that is an annoyance, the list goes on.
But the greatest pain I have ever endured is not an injury to me or any of the above, but the pain of watching someone I love so much lying in agony and waiting for test results to come back.
The pain of watching a loved one in this condition hurts in a way that I can’t really explain and you can’t do anything about it, you have just to sit and wait, look on, keep on checking to see if they’re alright, and wait some more.
This sort of pain makes you feel helpless, insignificant and unimportant; all you think about is them, it’s not about you.
My wife has had to be very brave over the past few years, she’s a cancer patient, and she was diagnosed with two different types of breast cancer one of which was an extremely aggressive form that starts in the lymph nodes.
It had spread to her skin, so surgery wasn’t an option; she had to have Chemotherapy first with the hope that it would shrink the tumours enough so she could have the operation.
The chemo sessions consisted of attending the Oncology department for six bouts of treatment every three weeks, each time she went she endured six hours of getting her head frozen to minus six degrees with the hope that her hair didn’t fall out, well my wife being a fighter kept her hair (I think it was to scared to fall out), and the tumours reduced enough for her to get her surgery.
She had her surgery, it was a double mastectomy with total Lymph Gland removal, and the pathology results came back saying that they had got everything, the next step was to get what you call a Hickman Line in, this is a line for giving medication intravenously without having to cannulate the arms as she had no Lymphatic system, then she had to get another cancer drug that she had to attend the hospital eighteen times every three weeks for, while doing this she contracted Septicaemia, the Hickman Line had became infected, which was very serious, it could have been fatal, and again she fought it, and got better.
She then had to have Radiotherapy, which really drained her; again she just got on with it.
Now she has a big problem with her back, she can’t walk at the moment, so yet again more tests and they found an abnormality on the base of her spine, panic set in as they were away to test for cancer again, watching her go through this was just to much ( that helpless feeling ), anyway after many weeks of the nervous feeling you get in your stomach the tests came back to show that she has prolapsed discs on the base of her spine putting severe pressure on her spinal cord, she also has an area that they can’t confirm yet what it is on her spine but they’ve ruled out cancer.
Not once has she complained, not once has she thought about herself and not once has she been demanding, she is a true warrior with the heart of a Lion.
My pain is she’s had to suffer and fight all this with no help from me, and before you say you run and do this and you go and get that, that is not pain, that is being thoughtful and considerate of her disability, as I said earlier my pain is helplessness, not being able to make it better, the worst pain ever.