|
Post by guyakuzuki on Mar 19, 2011 6:37:39 GMT
2 days ago a friend of ours (who had just picked her 2 kids up from school) told me her little boy(6y old)was bullied by an older kid at school.The bully had grabbed the little one with both hands by the throat and smacked him into a wall.My wife and I saw that the poor kid was in shock.Apparently yesterday the poor wee man had pain in his tummy and he felt sick(probably still in shock and afraid of what might happen next).As I couldn't sleep very well it kept me wondering how I would react if some bully did this to my kid...I find it hard to find a good solution.My grandda' always told me"if someone hurts you,hit them back twice as hard" which I did in the very few times I've been in that situation ;D ).I think reporting it might be a good step but you know teachers can't be everywhere and besides the authority and respect that teachers and headmasters used to have in the older days seems long gone.. I know there are people on here who have kids and my question is how would you react or how did you react to this situation?
|
|
|
Post by superjock on Mar 19, 2011 8:40:44 GMT
Had that happen to one of my kids when he was 11. Luckily my missus is a teacher and reported it side stepping the bulshit handed out. Meanwhile his big brother put the hard word on the bully. Something worked not sure what...............or if it was both
|
|
|
Post by jimlukelkc on Mar 19, 2011 18:31:45 GMT
My grandson was the victim of a violent and sustain assault at school recently. A larger agressive child took exception to something he said to another kid and threatened him. My grandson chose to ignore him and walk away, however he made the mistake of turning his back on the kid. He pushed him violently forward into an empty class room causing him to smack his head on a desk, dazed he managed to curl up and protect his head whereupon the bully rained down punches and kicks of such savagery that on-lookers were taken aback. It took two teachers to drag this kid off him ( they are both 10 years old ). The attack was considered serious enough to get the police involved and resulted in the boy being permanently excluded from schoo. My grandson sustained superficial cuts and bruises and was obviously quite shaken. He related to me later that as he curled up during the attack he thought no one was going to come and he felt unable to get up from the position he was in. Terrifying enough for him and upsetting to hear, but the thing that really brought a lump to my throat was hearing that he thought he had somehow let me down as he had been unable to fight back! Since the attack, the kid has been interview by a police family liaison team and social workers have set up a case file. The only contact Lewis has had was his initial statement to the police. Am I angry? You bet I am! The kid is a member of a notorious local family, my initial knee-jerk reaction was to go knock on the door of the head of this family and kick seven shades of ordure out of him but that of course would have been stupid. Since his exclusion from school this kid has been hanging around school property close to home time in intimidating fashion . He moves off school property if a teacher approaches him and they say they can do nothing to prevent him being outside of the gates. These kids have a future mapped out for them in which contempt for the law, morality and authority are a given. They only understand one thing and it is the one thing it is inappropriate to visit upon a 10 year old. I despair , I really do.
|
|
|
Post by guyakuzuki on Mar 19, 2011 20:37:09 GMT
My grandson was the victim of a violent and sustain assault at school recently. A larger agressive child took exception to something he said to another kid and threatened him. My grandson chose to ignore him and walk away, however he made the mistake of turning his back on the kid. He pushed him violently forward into an empty class room causing him to smack his head on a desk, dazed he managed to curl up and protect his head whereupon the bully rained down punches and kicks of such savagery that on-lookers were taken aback. It took two teachers to drag this kid off him ( they are both 10 years old ). The attack was considered serious enough to get the police involved and resulted in the boy being permanently excluded from schoo. My grandson sustained superficial cuts and bruises and was obviously quite shaken. He related to me later that as he curled up during the attack he thought no one was going to come and he felt unable to get up from the position he was in. Terrifying enough for him and upsetting to hear, but the thing that really brought a lump to my throat was hearing that he thought he had somehow let me down as he had been unable to fight back! Since the attack, the kid has been interview by a police family liaison team and social workers have set up a case file. The only contact Lewis has had was his initial statement to the police. Am I angry? You bet I am! The kid is a member of a notorious local family, my initial knee-jerk reaction was to go knock on the door of the head of this family and kick seven shades of ordure out of him but that of course would have been stupid. Since his exclusion from school this kid has been hanging around school property close to home time in intimidating fashion . He moves off school property if a teacher approaches him and they say they can do nothing to prevent him being outside of the gates. These kids have a future mapped out for them in which contempt for the law, morality and authority are a given. They only understand one thing and it is the one thing it is inappropriate to visit upon a 10 year old. I despair , I really do. it's really really sad to read this.I hope your grandson is okay now .Sometimes these bullies get more protection than their victims which makes me very angry
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Mar 21, 2011 12:23:37 GMT
Two familiar set of situations here.....when I was a kid, both parents were school teachers...mom was my high school business teacher and dad had been my elementry school teacher for a year. When I was in high school I was not the biggest kid in the class, and some kid had a grudge with my dad! He caught me from behind and shoved me face first into a locker, I was a tad stunned and turned around to be Gutted with a punch. Balled up for a second as the kid, mistakenly, started to taunt me and explain why my dad was the one that caused this....I took this chance to punch him in the "boys" and while he gasped for air, I stomped his knee....the result was I had a broken nose..again..he had a torn MCL and probably some very sore Southern issues! My mom was happy I fought back, my dad was not so happy as my nose healed up quick, the boys knee did not...personally, I think he is lucky I stopped when I did!
Second set up is sad, I had a student who has a little brother who has a developmental disorder that effects him greatly. when he was in high school he was picked on alot, he has the mental age of a five year old today and he is 47. Nice guy too! The bullies picked on him and no one would step in, they bloodied him up on a weakly basis. One day his big sister stepped in, much bigger than the junior high boys, and THUMPED them all! Five guys in a matter of a week. She did this every week for a month. Then she got dragged into the principles office and her Mom told me that the principle started reading her the riot act, she stood up (keeping in mind she is now 6'4" and probably 240 pounds) She poked the principle in the chest ( a man I am told was much shorter) and said that if it was okay for the boys to beat up her brother then it was okay for her to do it to them and before she took any punishment for 1 month of beating on them, they needed to be punished for the full 2 years of beating her brother! The next day all the boys said sorry to her brother and were given two weeks suspension and kicked off two of the sports teams when the news got out. She got a few days off from school and MAJOR respect!
I dont think violence is the answer to bullies, but if they attack you then you defend yourself in such a way that will show them they dont want to mess with you anymore.
I have a kid that is disabled, can not speak and is the sweatest most innocent little girl I have ever known. IF she gets bullied at school...I really feel sorry for the school, the kid(s) that did it and the parents of the little monsters...I WILL MAKE THEIR LIVES HELL!
|
|
|
Post by fujicolt on Apr 6, 2011 21:30:22 GMT
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Apr 7, 2011 1:33:28 GMT
God only gives you what you can handle....in my case its a heart full of love. my daughters disability is nothing to me, I often find myself shocked when someone mentions it! I dont see it. You know Steve, I have been stabbed three times, had major surgery after a car accident, had my skull cracked open twice, one time it was very bad, had so many injuries its not funny....I am from what I consider one tough son of a bitch. Last time I got hit in class the poor bugger almost pee'd himself! I might only be 5'5" but my instructor says I look like a pissed off pitbull when I spar! Last fight I got into was me at 35 against 6 kids in their 20's and I faired well, only one to walk away.. My wife Says I have the "Little mans" issues were I have to be twice as tough as the next guy.... but when my daughter crys my heart shatters, when she laughs I can help but laugh with her and if she needs or wants something SHE GETS IT! She is the most exceptional human being I have ever had the pleasure to meet, and I am lucky that I get to raise her. She can not talk, but her eyes tell me everything I need to know! Being a father has made me a better person, but I do feel bad for the person that bullies her or makes fun of her. I have been known to snap on people when they get in my daughters way during shopping outings. I had a lady "bump" her with her cart when Emma was in her wheel chair and gave me a dirty look. My wife says I made the lady so scared and she left reather fast after I simply gave her "the look". Children are a blessing, and some are so much a blessing that we become better people.
|
|
|
Post by guyakuzuki on Apr 8, 2011 13:54:37 GMT
excellent post James!!!Gave me a froggy in my throat (or how do you say that in proper english)!Also thanks to the other people replying here btw... Apparently the boy I talked about is okay now.The bully got reprimanded by the headmaster of the school and he leaves the wee man alone for now.
What I find very odd is that since our son was born I get so emotional or angry over things that I didn't care about before especially when it involves children....
|
|
|
Post by fujicolt on Apr 8, 2011 19:18:30 GMT
it is called 'a fathers love' mate. there will be many times when things hit home in a way only another parent can understand.
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Apr 9, 2011 22:15:19 GMT
bert, could not agree more!
|
|
|
Post by fujicolt on Apr 17, 2011 0:20:23 GMT
Kensi. One of my family has a diabled parking badge. A doctor agrees you can't walk more than 25 metres. The number of medical experts who come up and are rude and abusive say we do not look crippled enough as result in us not using it anymore as struggle along slowly we get pushed and justled. Sometimes I would like to inflict the same pain on them. The human race disappoints me. May I extend my best wishes to your family and may we both manage to channel our anger. Your comments have put tears in my eyes. Sorry you have had such bad experiences Garage - BUT Due to my medical probs over the past year I have had to spend time using a walking stick and to my delight human beings have not disappointed me. people have been helpful, patient, give way for me etc - and a goodly number of them have been young people. which is nice!
|
|
|
Post by fujicolt on Apr 18, 2011 21:43:09 GMT
Miserable gits with walking sticks.
Garage, I am sorry but I am gonna record here that I find some of your comments offensive and totally without validity or reason. I have several friends, relatives etc that have used walking sticks and wheelchairs for decades - some for their lifetime. they are nevertheless wonderful people and far from 'miserable gits'.
I have honestly told you of my experiences with Joe public whilst i have neede to use a walking aid. they have told me of similar nice experiences.
Maybe Garage it is your personal bitterness and way you interact that has resulted in you (wrongly) viewing all long-term disabled whom require a walking aid as 'Miserable gits'. I would ask you to do a bit of introspection and examine that possibilty. In the meantime please desist with such prejudicial and offensive comments.
and to answer your question given about a year of often needing walking aids I would imagine that if i endured it for 20 yrs I would still come out with a massive psoitive ratio of people being nice. But I expect I may also meet prejudicial and plainly ignorant peiople who would be unkind and YES they may have a surprisingly robust reaction from me due to thier attitude and undoubtedly they may well thus term me 'a miserable git with a walking stick' food for thought for you I hope.
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Apr 20, 2011 13:03:05 GMT
Okay, break it up you two. First off Garage, being rude and coming across wrong is not just for amatures like yourself...some of us are pros at it Speaking of which...Steve, the walking stick and walking issues is not what makes you a miserable old Git now is it Seriously, I have a daughter that has Cerebral Palsey and PCH2. I dont have a disabled sign and what torques me more than anything are people that park in handycaped spots and dont need to, I often walk 1/2 block with emma and dont complain once, but I have seen some young gal park in a handy spot and jump out, no parking sticker on her plates or sign and "oh, just running in"....I yelled, "if you can run you dont need to park in that spot now do you"? and she flipped me off! While I was pushing my daughter in her wheel chair! Suffice it to say I was very happy to write her tag down and pass it to security! Oh, the world would be such a better place if I was able to kick random people in the head!
|
|
|
Post by fujicolt on Apr 25, 2011 16:28:17 GMT
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Apr 26, 2011 15:27:33 GMT
LOL, Steve....I know youa are not a angry old Git...but it sure if fun to push your buttons sometimes. Just funning with you! Hope you enjoyed your week end!
|
|
|
Post by tomobrien on Apr 27, 2011 3:18:13 GMT
Wow! My daughter just brought my grandson to me today & asked the same question. Whaddayu do when a bully is pushing you around? He is 7 years old. I can't take full credit for this but there was an article in Black Belt magazine that dealt with this using BJJ. I modified it to this - The 3 'T's TALK, TELL (teacher/adult) & tough TALK - Tell the bully you don't like what he/she is doing & you don't want trouble. TELL - the teacher or an adult. TOUGH - time to get tough. Punch the bully right on the nose. My daughter was not totally satisfied with my - 'not politically correct' recipe. But I think it works. Thanks, Tom (PS - I showed my grandson how to punch properly & had him punch me in the chest - harder & harder) ;D
|
|
|
Post by kensei on Apr 27, 2011 13:08:38 GMT
TALK - Tell the bully you don't like what he/she is doing & you don't want trouble. TELL - the teacher or an adult. TOUGH - time to get tough. Punch the bully right on the nose. Tom I wish you were around when I was a kid....my thre T's were TOUGH, TUSSLE and TEMPER! I would always fight at the drop of a hat when I was a kid....Not great when you parent are both school teachers in the schools you attended.
|
|
|
Post by tomobrien on Apr 28, 2011 2:12:13 GMT
[/quote]Tom I wish you were around when I was a kid....my thre T's were TOUGH, TUSSLE and TEMPER! I would always fight at the drop of a hat when I was a kid....Not great when you parent are both school teachers in the schools you attended. [/quote] Jim - why am I not surprised that you would fight at the drop of a hat? Hard to get away with anything when your parents are teachers in the school you are attending. Wish I could have gotten a picture of my daughter's face when I had the little guy punching my chest. Thanks, Tom
|
|