been left no other option?

[IanM]

Well done Fleur. Verbal communication is often the most effective method of dealing with a threat. Used it to resolve many situations without either party getting injured. Usually breathe a sigh of relief afterwards and think, "@!;& that could've ended a lot worse"

[fujicolt]

Wise words Ian - and do you know how it is obvious you are a man of experience rather than like some merely talking of the experiences of others that you have heard of or read of?

you have been deeply honest and admitted that afterwards the 'Dump' can kick in and you feel (justifiably) PHEW! that was a close one.

Respect Sir Respect!

[th0mas]

Being mentally prepared I think is very important. If you're clear about the consequencies then doubt doesn't enter the picture.

The posts above reminded me of the most recent confrontation I had. I was on the train coming back from London with the wife and my three kids. (and you know what Steve, as i am sure you have said in training many times, it really changes the fight and flight dynamic when your kids are involved)

Anyway Drunk guy trying to avoid paying and a poor ticket inspector. I could see it coming a mile off, drunk guy was getting very agressive, shoving, shouting, threatened beatings and swearing..all the pre-fight build up was there. The Inspector was going to get hurt.

It took one look at the fightened expressions on my kids faces and I had not only 100% clarity about what I was going to do, but also no prefight nerves, no niggling thoughts in the back of my brain and absolutely no doubt..I was about to go and be extremely unreasonable. I stood up, stalked down the carrage, loomed over the ticket inspector, who was facing the drunk with his back to me and said something embarrassing like "Do you mind, there are kids on the train"

Oh well,...

Anyway what I said wasn't important, I believe my intent was written large all over my face. suffice to say, he completely backed down apologies profusely and got off at the next station.

Just goes to show.

[fujicolt]

he saw - even through his alcohol induced haze - your 'total intent' to protect your children! It is very different and research shows that we subliminally pick up on it!

I can 'see you' Tom - stepping up' ( it does galvanise ones emotion and attention when 'those we love' are in the vicinity!)so I can equally 'see him stepping down' = job done! POY!

and know this - your children saw that! and will sleep easier knowing Dad's about!

If more and more and more of us did this - I genuinely believe JOE 'Doesn't give a shit!' would start to realise he could get hurt and then there would be less of them!